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the girl next door


Jade ;DD
I'm a relatively good girl. I eat most of my veggies. I have an absolutely sweet tooth and I act kiddish most of the time. I absolutely adore babies and toddlers and I often go gaga over them.

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jadesthebitch

uh-oh, here we go!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
how can i love you?
when you don't talk to me babe.
                         -enrique, the ping pong song

you can have dougie who makes one eyebrow lifts smexay..
you can have dougie who still looks hot not clean shaven..
you can have dougie who's great with kids / a bloody hot husband..
you can have dougie stripping for you, yummy *slurrrrrp*..
you can have dougie like jesus..
you can have dougie with "that" ...
let me rephrase that..
when i mean "that",
i mean this.

i want that.
uh huh.




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like WHOA.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
did you know that there were so many sex positions?
like more than you think?
theres like more than a hundred.

okay so i took a quiz on facebook. "what sex position are you?"
i turned out as the butterfly. head of the butterfly position.
so i googled it. hahaha cause i had no idea what a butterfly position was.
turns out... it looks... rather.. er...
nice? AHAHAHAHA
i mean as in... argh, so see! :P

 i censored her boobs myself :P lollollol.

now, some comments..






im sorry they are small. you have to click on them to enlarge them..
something is wrong with my blogger thingy today..

but i think the naming of sex positions have gone crazy.
example.. the Missionary.

the Missionary, everyone knows it. its the basic of all sex position.
so you know the girls legs are like spread out rite? and on the bed/floor/whatever.

BUT if the girls like are straight up, position changed.
its called the Victory.

you see what i mean?!
legs up = name one.
legs down = name two.
girl up = name one.
girl down = name two.
etc etc etc.

gosh!

and.. under the "doggie" family.. theres a sex position called.. TURTLE.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahha.
i found that pretty hilarious.

OMG SHIT! THERES EVEN A KNELLING MISSIONARY.
WOW. and a standing missionary.. why am i not surprised? :P

OH OH! THE LOTUS!
thats the position in Heroes season one i think.
when that lady with the son changes personality and has sex with the that guy who can fly.
you know what im talking about Heroes fans?

okay. looking at the sides of this very informative webpage.. are products.
theres this one which is like a "torch light"
but instead of a bulb/light... theres a fake vegina. wow.
and get this.
theres two types, the virgin and the non virgin.
HAHAHAHAHA. WOW. THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE PRODUCTS.

this website is really the bomb.
i mean they even have 3D ANIMATION.
cause i dont you would understand what they mean in words if they tried describing how to do the position in words..
you know?

the term Golden Showers = getting peed on.
wow, again.

there are about 15 techniques on penis massaging. aka, hand jobs.
hahaha :P

oh oh!
" The main reason a woman should masturbate is because it feels good. Women with strong sex drives may masturbate frequently, but a woman should not forgo masturbating just because she does not have a strong sex drive. Even if she has no desire for partner sex, she should still enjoy giving herself pleasure. The fact that pre-adolescent girls masturbate proves that hormonally induced sex drives are not the only reason to masturbate; young girls do it for no other reason than it feels good. There is nothing wrong with a woman giving herself pleasure on a daily basis, or as often as she desires. "

i know whats a 69.. but 68? 80?
hahahaha WOW! sorry, but this is all pretty new..

VOCABULARY. - for me.
68: slang for "you do me and I'll owe you one"

69: mutual oral sex where the partners lie with their genitals facing each others mouths

80: slang for a threesome


ac/dc: Bisexual

active (partner): the aggressive sexual partner

agate: a small penis

analingus: stimulation of the anus with the mouth

angel: male who pays for sexual acts

areola: the dark red or light brown ring of skin surrounding the nipple

around the world: The act of kissing the entire body as a prelude to sex

auntie: an aging male homosexual ( AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA )

auto-eroticism: masturbation

auto-fellatio: performing fellatio on ones own penis

auto-sadism: an act whereby one inflicts pain on oneself

auxiliary intercourse: Sexual climax achieved by moving the erect penis back 
and forth in the armpit

back scuttle: Perform anal intercourse

beef curtain: the vulva

bestiality: sex with animals

beating off: male masturbation

blue balls: Severe need for a male to experience sexual orgasm, symptoms include cramps, pain or swelling in the scrotum, and irritability

brownie queen: Passive partner in anal intercourse

bugger: to perform anal sex, often refering to sex with animals or minors (AHAHA TASH, YOU BUGGER!)

bull dyke: masculine female homosexual

castration: removal of the male genitals by a surgical operation

cherry: imaginary unbroken genital seal or object of a virgin woman (POP THE CHERRY!)

clitoris: the most sensitive external female sex organ (i didnt know its the MOST)

closet queen: a male homosexual who hides his desires for other men

cockteaser: one who excites a male without carrying on to actual sexual relations

coitus: sexual intercourse

coitus in ano: anal intercourse

coitus interruptus: withdrawal of the penis prior to ejaculation

cold: unresponsive to sexual relations

cornhole: anus

corona: rim of flesh which forms the base of the head of the penis

crabs: lice which infect the pubic area of the body (ohmygod.)

cunnilingus: stimulation of the vulva with the mouth

NOTE : CUNNILINGUS is also sex position. like a category. theres so many ways/techniques under it..


ENOUGH.
a, b, and c.. are like so much already.
can you imagine another 23 alphabets?! like whoa.

did you know..
.. ice lemon tea has more calories than coke?
.. i think the butterfly position seems a good position to lose your virginity?
hahahahaha. yeah..
i mean its not so common as the missionary.
that position has been here since like the presence of adam and eve.. ?

.. a guy called jason jenning just added me on facebook.
oh, he looks pretty cute. hahahah :P
i think deana will fancy him.
i mean his hair :P looks like my bro's.. which i styled by the way! hahaha

oh oh! hes a swimmer.. from gis!

.... wawaweewa.

i er... i have to go now... :)
xoxo


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poor nahla.. HAHAH :P


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for me, for you :)
Thursday, May 21, 2009
my phone is beyond retarded.
i apologize in advance if you were talking to me and then suddenly the line "cuts"..
gosh. annoying bitch.

im currently watching american idols finals.. repeat.
i didnt watch the first half because i had tuition.
plus, doesnt really matter cause i knew who won already..
no thanks to SOMEONE.. coughcough*fahmi*coughcough

hahahah :P

jebus, im nearly done with breaking dawn.
im currently reading the last chapter.
i dont want to finish it! :(

baby, what are you doing to me?
im not your toy for you to play with when you're bored.

er, theres not much to say is there?

I GOT MY MAC BACK ON TRACK!
not shape lah cause its still not perfect.
sorry baby.. its not me, its you :P

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!
TASH I KNOW YOU WANT TO BE ALEXIS ON AMERICAN IDOL NOW!
HAHAHAHAH.
sorry.. lol

you know its been awhile,
why dont you make a move?

EVERYTHING SEEMS LIKE A LIE.


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& maybe becuase i was lying
Sunday, May 17, 2009
See the sky, see the stars
All of this could be ours

name : jade.
gender : female.
mood : apathetic.
wanna : do something.

.... "lets get it on". hahahaha, my own little joke :P

BLAH. ITS A SUNNY SUNDAY AFTERNOON, IM ALONE IN THE HOUSE AND IM BLOGGING.
LIKE WOW, SO INTERESTING.

i need to buy pens.
i need to buy a black ball pen.
i need to buy a black gel pen.
i need to buy a blue ball pen.
i already own a blue gel pen.
i need to buy a ruler.
i need to buy 0.7 lead.
i need to buy COLOUR pens.

*phone vibrates*
OOOOOOOO! A PHONE CALL! :)
yaaaaaay, someone wants to contact me.. finally.

so back to my list.

i need clothes.
i need a new phone. which includes colour, wifi, bluetooth, mp3.
defo.

argh. suddenly.. im not the same.

i check the price of things i want/buy.
i double check is i REALLY need 'em.
i talk less. i go out less.

but i still use the shower for like 30 mins as per normal.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

since like forever man. like whoa.




my man on the day.
which is my man of the week.
which is my man of the month.
which is my man of the year.
*coughcoughwhichdoesntincludefahmicausetech,hesnotamanyetcoughcough*

DOUGLAS LEE POYNTER.
i love DOUGIE from MCFLY.
hes so fucking fit.
all my friends think danny's the one but they're just full of shit.
he might wear shorts too big for him.
he thinks he's in blink 182.
but he makes my heart go boom, (actually, more like explode.)
now who can say that about YOU.



well, i dont exactly like nose rings (on most people) specially guys BUT, dougie is exceptional. :)
yeah yeah yeaaah. i wanna have this for my birthday, anyone? NOT THE SHOES!


that should be my arm around him. really should.. sniffsniff.


play me like your bass x)


last but not least, dougie and his girlfriend :( :) :/
i wish i was FRANKIE SANFORD


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likewow,thisdoesntneedatitle!
Friday, May 15, 2009
holy ass mofo.
i recently discovered i have a hot neighbour.
AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

i think hes in college. idk, hes one of em boys that are older than you think.
you know? :P


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cause all i wanna do is ...
..uh huh uh huh :P

now i have a reason to sleep early,
to wake up early,
to leave early..
for
school, hahah :P

FRIDAY THE 14TH. likeohmygod!
say it like a blonde. do it like a blonde.

school was fun today (like faishal said..)
first period, nothing.
second period, english.
third period, nothing.
break.
forth and fifth period, teachers day performances.
alright!

i would say i was pretty hyper-ed up and noisy hahah.
bloody hell, i ate like a slice of pizza. then roti canai. then some of nahla's roti canai.
... for break o_O <-thats a cool face.

nahla and i collected rm200+ for teacher's day.
i mean for the cake, which will be eaten on monday.
a butter cake!
(yes yes, nahla and i had a choice of what type and how it looked! AWESOME! :P )

a butter cake. plain. on top it will read "HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY! WE *HEART* YOU! XXX"
so the awesome. and there will be balloons! cause i like balloons on cakes.
colourful ballons! woooot!
oh yeah, and come flowers. reveti said so. sorry, i know her name but idk how to spell it :P
excuse me, sorry..

I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day
You got me in a spin but everything is "A" O.K!
-the darkness :)

weird stuff.
while i walked down the hill really REALLY SLOWLY waiting for fahmi and nahla..
guess who honks and pulls over by the side of the road..
MR. BALAN.
crazy. i was like wtf?!
so i just smiled... and waves.. and walked really fast across the road and into the park.
bloody hell... heart attack if he actually saw only fahmi holding my hand, walking me to school.
phew! =.=



in recent news..
step father does not allow family members who live under his room to have twitter.
like uh.... okaaay?? :/

in other recent news..
i just did my malay paper 2 o-levels.
hmm... i was scared just thinking "shit, the paper is so neat. ohmygod! o-levels!"
yes. i was shaking for like and hour.
which left me 15 mins of non-shaking-time. duuuuuuuuh.... =.=


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agree with my contract :)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
today.
...

i'll blog tomorrow :P


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we're moving on with cocopops ;
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Its like twisted sister
meets mr. mister
It’s like a rolling thunder
Meets a careless whisper
Its like jesus jones and the rolling stones in a game of twister
Its Like Boy Meets Girl


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cut my fingers off cause baby, im trying.
one aim, and only one aim.
actually two aims now but... nevermind. :/ potong steam.

anywho, one aim for the year. one gig i need to be at. one gig i need to be at the front.
that gig is... you should already know! sure tash knows :P
and i think she kindda hates me for me HAHAH.
but, most of you will kill me when you know.
nadia is currently in shock. oh wait, shes not. shes.. *censored*

I WANT TO BE AT A JONAS BROTHERS CONCERT!
and meet them in person of coarse.
i wanna see them in the FLASH! *swooooon*



Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will.



i dont know what to do.
youre slipping away from my finger tips.
ill rewind time back to day when we had a smile on our face.

akanksha, i want to go back to sunway! CALVIN KLEIN JEANS! ahhhhh :(
asia lacks of hot white people.
malaysia lacks too much. even singapore has more.
mayb it seems like it cause singapore is smaller.
BUT THEN AGAIN, white people stay in kl and not anywhere else. i mean they sure dont stay in perlis or kuatan. you know what i mean..

form 5 is planning friday fun day.
what shall we do?
so far we've got :
  1. face painting.
  2. muffins/cupcakes! :D
  3. dig-your-face-in-flour-and-catch-the-candy.
  4. cotton candy?
help?? :P

oh! i just saw rihanna's nude pics on the net. thank you perez! hahahah so mean.
poor rihanna. but whoa.. she has a nipple piercing. :/
okaaay, awkward.

LETS GO ANDREWSMODELS, LETS GO! :)


jhonny.

douglas.


marek b.


nikolas.

this is burberry. middle and far right are the awesomest.
by the way.. the far right one is Alex Pettyfer. like ohmygod. diediedie.




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the 200th post.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
did you know muffins & cupcakes were different?!

cupcakes are like the ones with icing or frosting on top.
muffins are... usually plain?
amazing. & all this while i thought they were the same.

Cupcakes!


this one is rad. its the iphone cupcakes! like dayuum!



Muffins!


Conclusion :
cupcakes are pretty and awesome, but muffins usually taste better.





we so need to talk. but when on earth is ever the right time?!
don't trust a hoe.
never trust a hoe.
don't trust a hoe, cause a hoe won't trust me.


arent we suppose to be like :
My Friends Tigger and Pooh
We’re always there for each other


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the 199th post.
Friday, May 1, 2009
first thing first.
IM BACK FROM REDANG!!!!!
no. im not happy. i miss it. one week there was the shit man!
im a latte now! hahaha :P
but my ass is sill vanilla. you should see my ass cheek! SERIOUSLY! ask ji soo! awesome shit! lol

ohmygod. you know what is so awesome?! its a cartoon. couldnt stop watching it in redang.
i love the theme song.
its... B E N 1 0 ! ! !
hahahahahahaha but no. seriously. damn nice la! this is coming from a 15 year old.
( who is turning 16 in september by the way heheh )

okay. here are some highlights.
  • we got upgrated to a deluxe room which is the exact room DEANA STAYED IN! crazy.
  • the beach is freaking awesome. no kid, its like so.. blue/turquoise.
  • i bang-ed my head on the sink. it looked like i was trying to karate chop it. ; it still hurts.
  • i went diving! 3 dives in total. 3 dive was only for 5 mins. HAHA. i got attack by a shark-look-a-like-fish. it wouldnt stop following me. turned out to be a "sucker fish".
oh, i found a picture on google.


  • i dropped ji soo's hand phone and got it on camera :) sorry ji soo!
  • ate noodles like practically every day. very bad i know :P
  • ji soo and i played table/air/floor tennis. it was messy and VERY tiring.
yup. thats mostly everything. i think.
oh yeah!

  • i hit the back of my head on the bed when i jumped onto the bed. sad sad..
interesting.... specially the stupid fish one.
IM NOT KIDDING! IT SERIOUSLY LOOKS LIKE A SHARK-LOOK-A-LIKE UNDER WATER.
ITS EYES ALSO FUCKING SCARY WEI!
asswipe. something i think ill always remember.
specially how i nearly got a heart attack under water trying to kick is away with my fins.
argh. so deep also..... *shivers*






PART TWO.
you call yourself one but you dont act like one.
youre a taker, not a giver.
you say so much but its sad to know its all lies.
youre really one in a million. youre an asshole. really are one.

thank god, thats fate.


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